My Adventure at Raptor Watch 2009

Ok, I was late
I admit I was late
T’was my busy-ness state
To fervor my updates
But I think you’ll deduce
It was good my excuse
My dog ate my mouse

Former beauty queens have to appear as the first picture here. Heh.

Miss Raptor Watch 2009. Oops, make that 'Mrs.'

LA ink? Humph, this is PD ink, kickin' it old skool!

Wa-hey! The morning after *that* game against Manure.

Here's your Bronzie, Ee Lynn

Perhilitan Melaka brough along their 'pet' snake.

Where the hell are those raptors?

My job was to show people these things (in a rugged and charming way of course)

The real thing and not your favourite footwear

My Adventure of Re-Blogging

This must be the longest time I have ever procrastinated from writing. FYI, being the rugged chap with the charming personality, does not exclude you from being just too lazy sometimes to share your ruggedly charming life’s experience on this blog. I always thought that what was needed was a catalyst to fan the simmering fires for updating one’s own blog.

It came on Saturday, 14 Mar 2009.

These are the excerpts of the text messages between Lilyliverbird and I during that night of infamy (for Man U fans of course).

9: Fuck it!

Lily: Cibai. Bila Carra nak sepak telor tina?

9: Torres!!!!

Lily: Bodo Manure kakakaka

9: Tevez jatuh mcm raksaksa ultraman kena fire

Lily: Hiks

Lily: Rafa shld get the scousers to sing xtina uglier than rooney n tevez

9: Or sing stevie is a better footballer than xtina

Lily: Zidane agrees

Lily: Ayunya torres. Hiks

9: 45 mins to go. Vavi. Hilang terus telo aku. Kecut punya pasal

Lily: Gila tensi

9: That grey jersesy is damn ugly

Lily: Kan? Tak de kaler lain ke?

9: Hoi reina, ko tangkap bola betol2 boleh tak?

Lily: Ngok

9: Aku pukul si reina ni kang

Lily: That was close, phew

Lily: Mascherano ni nak jadi runi ke

9: Tulah pasal

Lily: Pasal tak attack ni

9: Apsal our players muka macam samseng ni?

Lily: Sapa sub ni? Mcm tank

9: Dossena ler

Lily: Tu dia, all the old age pensioners coming in

9: Bye Bye Vidic!

Lily: Kalau riise ada lagi kan best

Lily: Man u v liv tak sah kl tak de red card

9: Aku dah tak senang duduk ni!!! Dankyu, spank yew torres. Eh, ko
manja2 dgn torres ya riera.

Lily: Reira cubit pipi torres. Jeles

Lily: Phwoar

9: Hahamuahahaha!

Lily: Eh, who scored 3rd goal? Banyak sgt, Lupa

9: Aurelio

Incidentally, last weekend was also Raptor Watch ‘09 (much more on that later), thus the next day on Sunday, there were loads of request for the Liverpool emblems at the face-painting booth. Yes, we know how and when to rub it in.

Goku’s Adventure of Going to Hollywood

They better not fuck this up.

My Adventure of Gaining a Sudden Realisation

One fine afternoon, on a very lazy weekend, as the rugged chap with the charming personality was lazing about at (chores) she had somehow found for him to do.

After some back breaking work of mopping the floor and cleaning the bloody toilet, our protagonist finally had the chance to crash himself on the couch and to continue his attempt in trying to get York City FC out of the Conference on Football Manager 5 before he was interrupted by the missus previously.

It was at this moment that he realised that if he was rich, he could afford to hire maids to do his chores for him…. or a butler or two.  He further realised that if he had, in 1998, hypothesized of a search engine that analysed the relationships between websites, which ranked results according to the number of times the search term appeared on a page, he would have been very, very, very, very rich now.

He further furthered realised that maybe inventing the Google search engine might be a bit optimistic and decided to opt for a lesser internet application but with similar substantial monetary return.

So he had re-realised that if in 2004 he had founded Facebook, then he now, would have been very, very rich too.

However, it later dawned on him that he might have had some problems in achieving these objectives. For one, back in 1995, he was NOT doing his PHD on ‘internet search engines’.

Number two, he was not studying in Harvard of all places in 2004 and being such a loser to the point that he needed to create a social networking website to meet girls.

Number three, he didn’t live in the US where they had the infrastructure available to do almost anything.

Our protagonist then had sighed and proceeded to be contented, for the time  being, of continuing to do his weekend chores like a rugged, and charming chap that he is.

Have those scientists discovered the formula for Cold Fusion yet?

My Adventure of Taking the Piss Out of My Friends 1.0

I have nothing to blog about.

Oh, ok. This morning I woke up at 7.00am. I had set the alarm clock at about 6.30am and I woke up a half an hour later. I didn’t know why it had to take the alarm clock half an hour to wake me. Maybe it was because of the baked beans I had for dinner which gave me gas throughout the night. The gas which I emitted in a constant and consistent manner could have dulled my senses and made me oblivious to the ringing of the clock.

Since I have nothing to blog about and since the gasses has already affected my brain in someway, I have decided that to take the piss out of my friends’ writings…. just because I love them all and its better to be coming from me than that other infamous blog who we-must-not-name. *giggles in a rugged manner*

I will write a short post on their style of writing and you try and guess who it is, ait?

Christina Ronaldo is a girl. Can he be any more of a girl, the Wank!

<posts a gay pic of Christina>

He should be raped by a drunken viking, if he hasn’t been already.

Oh, Rafa said that even though Robbie (not Fowler) is not scoring for Liverpool, they have no intention of signing Owen back to Anfield. Why Rafa?! Why?? Hazabs. 2 draws in two weeks is not going to win you the title lah.

<posts a picture of Owen at Newcastle>

<posts a picture of Owen at home with his family>

<posts a picture of Owen bending over in training>

<posts a picture of Gemma and inserts caption, ‘My mummy has a blog and lives in Malaysia and knows that rugged chap with the charming personality’>.

Okay.. who is it? *snicker*

The New Wildlife Times Issue 4

Once upon a time there was this girl named Rahayu. She lives in Terengganu. Not only does she lives there but she also works there as well. If you’re wondering why she is that important or unique to the extent of me providing her a post of her own, then you should also know what she works as.

Rahayu or just ‘Ayu’ to her friends, works for the WWF and runs a turtle conservation center in Terengganu. She’s doing quite well there up in the east coast. So well in fact that she was able to convince the state’s Islamic council to adopt a very unusual sermon during last Friday’s prayers.

The sermon ’sermon-ed’ by the Imams, or religious leaders, will stress the importance of protecting the environment and warn against egg poaching, pollution of the seas and uncontrolled fishing.

“If this attitude continues, imagine then what would be left for the future generation? Maybe one day our grandchildren will no longer know about turtles,” the sermon further reads.

The idea of preaching about conservation was a joint initiative with local imams.

Ayu add nonchalantly, “In a Malay Muslim-dominated society like this, they look up to what the imams say and this is a way to get the message down to the local communities, where turtle eggs are still consumed freely.

I am not at all sure whether Tanjung Jarang is still the place where all those anok-anok dara comel-comel belaka still rileks but I do know that if conservation efforts are continued by Ayu and her colleagues, it won’t be too long before we are able to singgah sebetor ke rantau abang,…. kita tengok penyu telor.

My Adventure of Being A Rocker

Once upon a time, sometime during the 80s, when dinosaurs roamed the earth and Man still hunted the woolly mammoth for food, a new genre of music was born. No, this was not any ordinary genre. In the 70s, disco was all the rave, shiny orbital balls and John Travolta with his bell bottoms and massive sideburns et al. Not to be outdone, bands started to play fast and thick with highly amplified distortions, extended guitar solos, and they were very, very loud. Their lyrics did not contain the usual ‘I-Love-You’ crap but is instead filled with angst, machismo and masculine sexuality. They would also have had watched Lethal Weapon 68 times already.

And so, not to be outdone, in the late 70s, this particular style of music came to our shores as one by one, local bands started to go Hard Core.

Some were good, and some…… shouldn’t have really bothered.

And knowing us, they had to introduce a different version of the Hard Core Metal purely for marketing reasons as most people tend to favour the ‘I-Love-You’ crap songs. So, being the innovative and proactive chaps that they were, they introduced the style of the rock kapak jiwang.

Now, not everyone can play this particular genre. For one, they had to be greatly influenced by.. no, not Padi’ or ‘Boyan-on-Seven’ or whatever Jawa, oops sorry .. Boyan band playing on our radio now but by Led Zeppelin, Judas Priest or Black Sabbath.

Secondly, they must look the part.

Torn Jeans one size too small? – Check

Long, frizzy hair? – Check

Aliph sneakers? – Check.

And finally, in order to go rock kapak jiwang, they must proceed to sing a sappy, lovey-dovey love song, which is a reverse criteria from the definition of a Heavy Metal Rock band. No worries though, this is purely acceptable as they need to sell those albums somehow.  An added advantage is to have either M. Nasir or JS Kevin write them.

Quoting the bootylicious Leen, “Pakai jeans ketat, rambut gerbang, muka garang tapi lagu semuaaa tangkap leleh baiii”

So without further a due, here are the Top 5, Rock Kapak Jiwang-est, bestest (sic) ever songs played by the most reknowned rock band in Malaya.

#5. Olan – Cinta Bandar Tasik Selatan

He got dumped (don’t they all) *rolls eyes* and our protagonist whines about all the loving memories they had whilst in Cheras because that was where the girl probably lived. Probably took the LRT everywhere for their dates too.

Well at least she doesn’t live in Pandan Indah.

#4. Bumiputra Rockers (BPR) – Dari Sinar Mata

Heh. Like we didn’t know that they were Malay rockers. This song is as sappy as they come. You know, the I-was-lonely-until-I-met-you-crap-now-I-am-complete. Tell you what, that director of Jerry Macguire should have used this song as background music during that ‘You Complete Me’ scene.

Renee: Stop, you had me had hello. You had me at hello.

*background music: ‘Keunggulan cinta… dari sinar mata.. yang bergeloraaaa‘.

#3.XPDC – C.I.N.T.A

They taught us how to spell. Seriously. Thats a bonus point there. And it was catchy. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to understand the lyrics though. They sang about the ups and downs of being in love while competing in a spelling bee competition.

Next..

#2. Wings – Taman Rashidah Utama

This song was quite weird since I had an Aunt named Rashidah. I once asked her whether there was a housing estate or a garden named after her. She thought I was crazy.

So the song goes that our protagonist had loved and lost, like they ALWAYS do *rolls eyes* and as a remembrance of that failed relationship, he decided to build this garden. No, it wasn’tlike Taman TasiK Titiwangsa or Tasik Perdana, but a real garden to bury the remnants of his broken heart.

Wuss.

#1. Search – Fantasia Bulan Madu

This is the ultimate proclamation of love. Our protagonist proclaimed to all and sundry that he’s somehow will arrange their honeymoon up in the rainbow and though a bit confused on the colour of the cloud, he’s taking here there too. Then he whines and drones about how the heavens will testify to their live and whatnot.

Well, with Air Asia’s free seating, maybe now he can at a more budgeted price.

I am sorry about not having any of YOUR favourite song though since technically this is MY list. But please do leave a comment  with a list of yours. Now, all I need to do now is to search for the MP3 version of those songs and set them as my ringtone.. just to annoy people.

Yay-yaearghhhh!

My Adventure of Telling You a Story (Again)

Let me tell you a story. This is not like any other story I have told. But then again, I say the same of all the stories I tell, don’t I? . Now, this story of mine was passed down to me a long, long time ago by an old Lakota Indian wise-man.  Well okay,  I just googled it but the former sounds more interesting non?

The story goes that once, a long, long time ago, as far back as anyone can remember, the Rabbit Nation were very much depressed in spirits on account of being very obedient to their chief, obeying all his orders to the letter. One of his orders was, that upon the approach of any other nation that they should follow the example of their chief and run up among the rocks and down into their burrows, and not show themselves until the strangers had passed.

This they always did. Even the chirp of a little cricket would send them all scampering to their dens.

One day they held a great council, and after talking over everything for some time, finally left it to their medicine man to decide. The medicine man arose and said:

“My friends, we are of no use on this earth. There isn’t a nation on earth that fears us, and we are so timid that we cannot defend ourselves, so the best thing for us to do is to rid the earth of our nation, by all going over to the big lake and drowning ourselves.”

This they decided to do; so going to the lake they were about to jump in, when they heard a splash in the water. Looking, they saw a lot of frogs jumping into the lake.

“We will not drown ourselves,” said the medicine man, “We have found a nation who are afraid of us. It is the frog nation.”

So the moral of the story is that if it had not been been for the frogs we would not have any rabbits today, as the whole nation would have drowned themselves and the entire rabbit race would have been extinct.

So, whats the connection between me not updating for a while? Not a bloody thing, apart that I have been extremely busy ‘managing stuffs’  and I had Rabbit sate on the weekend. Heh.

My Adventure of Turning 31 on 9/10/08

Slice of Cheese cake – RM6.95

Candles – RM2.80

Birthday Dinner – RM76.75

Having your wife travel to Kota Kinabalu to celebrate your birthday with you – Priceless.

My Adventure of Pet Sitting 2.1

Mr. Darcy was like any other puppy. Playing, jumping, and chasing the rugged and charming chap who’s house he had taken up residence, along with 7 other of his puppy brothers and sisters.

Mr. Darcy, although being like any other puppy, had an extra advantage over his siblings. He was thought to be the most cutest, and adorable as puppies go. He was also the friendliest.

Being like any other puppy, Mr. Darcy did not get much of an attention from that rugged and almost certainly charming chap though, because in all his rugged tendencies, he didn’t want to get too attached to Mr. Darcy or to his other 7 siblings.

At first the  the rugged chap bla bla wanted to send the pups to the SPCA for adoption all at once. Unfortunately, as they say about plans, and mice and men, there was no room for all 8 as the RM50 cage was not deemed to be large enough to accommodate them all. Thus, 3 had to be left behind and be extradited later.

Mr. Darcy was one of them.

You see, even though, Mr. Darcy was like any other puppy, albeit more cuter and adorable, the rugged chap with the charming personality’s missus had taken a liking to Mr. Darcy. So when the time came to send the remaining 3 to the SPCA, the Missus tagged along and there, lobbied extensively to the people at the center, prejudicial selecting those with the proper credentials.  So, after much marketing, they were able to find a new home for Mr. Darcy, one which had a big house compound and the sufficient financial resources to take care of not only one.. but two puppies!!. Yes, through the Missus’ efficient marketing approach, she was able to get 2 of them adopted within the hour of them being there.

The surprise didn’t end there though. Upon further examination by the vet it was found that Mr. Darcy was in fact Miss Darcy. She was a girl puppy. *Forehead slapping all around*.

So as a prologue for this particular adventure, and with a bittersweet parting between the pups and the rugged chap and his missus, he is stoked to announce that all 8 have been sucessfully adopted and are at their new homes.  A very rugged and charming thank you to those who have adopted them…..  whoever you are.